WORD PLAY [via David Angsten]

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.


2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.


3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.


4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.


6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.


8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.


10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.


11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.


12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.


13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the literature:


16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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