Waiting on the Front Porch [via Joe Lepage]

On the first day,  God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and  bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a  life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be  barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other  ten?"  And God saw that it was  good.

On the second  day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and  make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life  span."


The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a  pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog  did?"

And God, again saw that it  was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said,  "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under  the sun, have calves, and give milk to  support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of  sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want  me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other  forty?"

And God agreed that it  was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat,  sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life.  For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only  twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave  back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes  eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty  years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy  ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our  family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the  grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and  bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to  thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.     If you are looking  for me, I will be on the front  porch. 

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