Hilarious Times Coworkers Actually Made Work Tolerable

This World-Travelling Stapler From Floor 4

his Employee Who Made Every Frame For Sale Include A Photo Of Jeff Goldblum

This Worrying Sign

This Employee Who Brought In The Required Sick Note

These Goofs Who Miniaturized Their Coworker’s Desk

Uh huh... [via Rita Temple-Crane]

On Fetishes... The Real Thing [vian Nina Reznick]

Lillian of County Clork, Ireland has just revealed a shocking secret about her humble suburban home. Though it may look ordinary from the outside, it’s anything but once you step inside!

Everyone has a private obsession. For most, it’s usually something simple, like a shelf of Special Moments figurines. For others, it’s a bit quirkier, like a collection of 46 bridal bouquets.

But for Lillian, a wife and mother of two, it’s Coca-Cola.

For over 30 years, Lillian has been collecting Coke memorabilia. Now, her home serves as a live-in shrine to the yummy soda. What started as a tiny collection of old Coke cans has now blossomed into a household theme! Drenched from wall-to-wall in red and white, and peppered with the world-famous famous logo, this home is nothing short of a personal Coke museum.

But for many, Coke is more than just a carbonated drink; it’s a nostalgic American icon that brings up warm memories of days gone by.

After you scroll through Lillian’s amazing collection, paired with some interesting Coke facts, be sure to watch the video at the end! It’s a little slice of the past that you won’t want to miss!

Please SHARE if you love Coca-Cola!
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Coca-Cola, the most widely distributed product in the world, was invented in 1886 by a pharmacist named John Stith Pemberton.

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Pemberton, a veteran who was badly wounded in the Civil War, invented this “French Wine Coca” as a substitute for morphine, to which he’d become addicted.

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Later renamed for its two core ingredients — extracts of the coca leaf and the kola nut — Coca-Cola was soon patented and sold as a “nerve tonic.”

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The fizzy, “medicinal” drink was said to cure many diseases, including opium and morphine addiction, dyspepsia, neurasthenia, headache, and impotence.

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Neurasthenia, or “tired nerves,” was a prevalent disorder of the 1800s caused by “the hurry, bustle, and incessant drive of the American temperament.” Coca-Cola was a fashionable remedy for this ailment.

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Many people think Coke was popular because of its controversial ingredient — cocaine. However, the soft drink contained such small traces of the intoxicating substance, even a teeny-tiny ant couldn’t have gotten such a buzz from one.

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Cocaine was actually a very common ingredient during the late 1800s, found in tablets, wine, liqueurs, hypodermic injections, and coca-leaf cigarettes. It wasn’t until 1929 that all traces of cocaine were removed from Coca-Cola’s famous recipe.

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During World War I, the Coca-Cola company took a huge hit due to sugar rationing — but when World War II began, Coke positioned itself as a “soldier’s drink.”

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During wartime, soldiers depended heavily on Coca-Cola as a pick-me-up. One military surgeon said, “I cannot conceive of a greater calamity worse than a loss of the base supply of Coca-Cola.”

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During the 1930s, the soda forever engrained itself in American culture when Santa Claus — decked in red and white — made his first appearance in a Coca-Cola ad. Now, almost 130 years after its invention, this delicious soda still dominates the world’s soft drink market!

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McSweeny's Daily Humor [via Vincent Atchtiy]

A STATEMENT FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA REGARDING THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS BRIBERY SCANDAL by JESSICA M. GOLDSTEIN

When we learned that at least 50 people participated in a massive college admissions scam, deploying fraudulent means to get their children into our nation’s elite universities, we were appalled, disgusted, and outraged that not a single one of them was using these deviant tactics to get into the University of Pennsylvania.

It is just despicable that these privileged, wealthy families, who already enjoy every advantage, would be so deceitful and unethical in their efforts to secure a coveted spot at Yale, Stanford, or Georgetown, but not at Penn, which — friendly reminder! — is an Ivy League school. It’s extremely exclusive. Very difficult to get into. Definitely harder than Georgetown and sometimes harder than Stanford; it sort of depends on the year.

What’s especially appalling to us, as one of the finest academic institutions in the world, is how many of these students did not even care about their education. We’re looking at you, Olivia “I don’t know how much of school I’m gonna attend” Jade. Well, Olivia, maybe you’d feel differently if you learned about a certain someone named Benjamin Franklin, who founded the University of Pennsylvania in 1740 and also invented bifocals, the Warby Parkers of his day. You could say Ben was America’s first influencer. People already do, actually. It’s a thing. Tell your friends!

As long as you’re going to send a photo of your unathletic daughter on a rowing machine along with a check for $500,000 to a crew coach, why not send it to our crew coach? We have a river here. It’s pretty famous. Probably you’ve heard of it? The Schuylkill. Yes, that’s how it’s spelled. You say it like, skoo-kull. It’s a really lovely body of water and a great place for your daughter to pretend to be a coxswain while she just sits in a boat and vlogs. We would never have accepted the bribe, obviously, because that would go against our code of conduct. We hate crime; that’s why our law school is so good. But it would have been nice to be asked.

Paying $15,000 so the proctor will change your daughter’s SAT answers after she takes the test? Horrifying. But not as horrifying as going to such extreme lengths just to get your kid into USC when you could have sent those doctored transcripts to Philadelphia, PA. That’s where we’re located, just FYI. Like, you knew that already for sure but in case you’d forgotten: We’re in Philadelphia! What a town. It’s such an underrated city. Definitely better than wherever Wake Forest is. (Virginia? New Hampshire?) We’re biased but we can say, with total confidence, that Philly is better than New York. People say that all the time when they visit. They’re like, “Wow, this is so much cooler than I thought it was going to be! I guess my expectations were very low?”

A few days after the scandal broke, people started to talk about the Trumps and we were like FINALLY. But it turned out everybody was just giving Jared Kushner shit for paying $2.5 million to get into Harvard. HARVARD IS A GLORIFIED FINISHING SCHOOL. For fuck’s sake, what about all the money Trump promised he would donate to Penn so his daughter Ivanka and one of his dum-dum sons could go to Wharton?? Wharton is a Penn school, and sure, sometimes it bothers us that the Wharton brand is so strong while the Penn brand is still sort of confusing to a lot of people, but whatever. Tiffany went to the College of Arts and Sciences, by the way. At Penn.

Our only consolation in the face of this devastating news is that these criminals, whose schemes were a shameful violation of what is intended to be a fair, meritocratic process, will be brought to justice, and that none of them bothered to scam their way into Cornell.

Groucho Marx Roasts Johnny Carson

The Donald Trump CELL BLOCK TANGO (Part One) - Randy Rainbow Song Parody [via Nina Reznick]

The Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris bees are alive!

Photo via Beeopic’s Instagram

In the spring of 2013, the rooftops of Notre Dame became host to a modest colony of good-tempered urban honeybees known Buckfast bees, developed in the 1920s by a Benedictine monk. The three hives on top of the Notre Dame were installed at the behest of the cathedral’s general manager as a gesture to help promote the protection and awareness of our bees, but of course on that fateful evening in Paris, Notre Dame’s hives were quite literally in the line of fire. As firefighters battled through the night to save the 850+ year-old cathedral from total collapse, understandably, priorities lay elsewhere.

Spotted clinging to a blackened gargoyle, Nicolas Géant, the apiculturist, joyously shared the news that the bees of Notre Dame are alive and well, thanks to photo confirmation from officials onsite. 

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Lenny Cavallaro Interviews Anais Chen for Stay Thirsty Magazine

I have heard many wonderful recordings over the decades, so it is always a welcome surprise when I am truly moved by an artist with whom I was previously unfamiliar. I had that experience with the YouTube performances of baroque violinist Anaïs Chen, and my comments about them are a matter of public record. I was absolutely delighted to catch up with Anaïs and discuss various projects, both her own and those of her ensembles, Duo L’Istante and Ensemble Daimonion.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Perhaps we can begin with a discussion of your most recent recording: the Bach Sonatas for Violin and Clavier, which are certainly monumental in the development of chamber music for the two instruments.

ANAÏS CHEN: Absolutely. They are among the most complicated pieces I have ever studied. Above and beyond the technical challenges, the music is truly interwoven among what are effectively three voices. It’s as though the two musicians actually perform three parts, since the harpsichord plays both the accompanying continuo part and its own melodic voice. The complexity is heightened, because as soon as one performer takes even the slightest freedom or initiative, the other must be extremely aware, know exactly what is going on, and make the appropriate adjustments. Thus, these six sonatas are far more challenging than his sonatas with only the continuo, which were far more common before Bach. In fact, in some ways they are even more difficult than his unaccompanied partitas and sonatas.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Really? How so?

ANAÏS CHEN: When one is playing with one or more colleagues, one may have moments of spontaneity, and with the Bach sonatas these can be effective only if both performers are listening very carefully to one another, poised to respond appropriately.

LENNY CAVALLARO: I understand. I think that’s the sort of thing we see more with truly skillful baroque performance. It’s the intensity with which one needs to listen, since with a style so concerned with articulation and phrasing, if one player does something with an important motif, the other must usually answer accordingly.

ANAÏS CHEN: Absolutely! Moreover, the harpsichordist must sometimes almost split into two performers, where one hand takes some rhythmic liberties, while the other is somewhat more steady. Then there are the ensemble problems. For but one example, in the F-sharp minor movement [third movement of the A Major sonata – ed.] we did not feel the freedom of motion the same way initially, so we had to try it again to resolve our differences and determine what we wanted to take out of the music.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Which you did most successfully. I also like what you said, because with baroque pieces, we really don’t put expression into the music, but must instead think in terms of “taking it out.” This can indeed be very difficult. However, as one who takes so much out of these sonatas, do you have a favorite?

ANAÏS CHEN: I have favorite movements: for example, the opening of the E Major.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Ah, that long line, which only Bach could have written. For me, it’s the opening of the B minor.

ANAÏS CHEN: Yes, that one, also. In fact, I love most of the slow movements.

LENNY CAVALLARO: When will you record the solo works?

ANAÏS CHEN: I’ve performed some, not all of them, and recorded only a few movements.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Notably, the Adagio of the G Minor, which is exquisite, and the famous “Chaconne” from the D Minor is on your website.

ANAÏS CHEN: Nevertheless, I would need to “isolate” myself to prepare for such an undertaking.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Well, I hope you do, based on what I’ve heard. Of course, certain works for solo violin are simply “monumental” by any standard, and I would place those six unaccompanied Bach compositions and the Paganini Capricci in that elite category.

However, that project leads us to another topic. While your Bach – on period instrument – is absolutely gorgeous, your true passion seems to be music from the late Renaissance/early baroque, which is even less familiar to the public. I must say your Palestrina/Rognoni moved me immensely. “Io son ferito” (“I am wounded”) is the Palestrina madrigal. Did Rognoni actually write out all those marvelous – and totally violinistic – embellishments?

ANAÏS CHEN: This one is actually written out in his treatise. It was presented as an example of how to engage in this practice with art and mastery, but one can also learn to do so on one’s own.

Francesco Rognoni was not the only one who wrote a treatise. Bovicelli, Dalla Casa, Riccardo Rognoni (Francesco’s uncle), and Silvestro Ganassi all explained the art of “diminution.” Ganassi’s, which is the earliest (1535), presented truly complicated rhythmic patterns, including quintuplets and septuplets. The complexity of these figurations leads us to believe they had probably been in practice in the oral tradition for many years before Ganassi wrote them down in his first treatise, since they had evolved so extensively.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Fascinating. I would have assumed they used only duple- or triple-meter figurations: 3, 4, 6, 8, etc. We don’t generally see septuplets until the 20th century.

Of course, I’m also most impressed by the remarkable improvisation itself. It is clearly a lost art. I expect the performer (violin, oboe, or other) to embellish around what I have written, sometimes spontaneously. However, only those trained in and comfortable with baroque improvisation can do so. Similarly, in performance today – particularly in recording – we see far more of the metronomic precision, and far less willingness to take chances.

ANAÏS CHEN: I totally agree. I think the public will notice if the musicians are taking risks, and in a live concert they really appreciate those moments when something unique is happening.

LENNY CAVALLARO: True, although it doesn’t win competitions. Nevertheless, I’m far more interested in what the performer has to convey, what he/she projects, and what is taken out of this music. When I performed, I always hoped someone in the audience had been moved emotionally, and when I attended a concert, I wanted to be moved to tears myself. Even if the performance itself is less than technically flawless, the “magic” can occur.

ANAÏS CHEN: Exactly. It’s all about communication. I really enjoy those special moments, and it is a true triumph when a few people come up after a concert and tell me how much they were touched by the performance.

LENNY CAVALLARO: Unfortunately, no discussion of “performances” can evade the essential question of today’s concert halls and the programs usually offered in them. You are very passionate about this late Renaissance, early baroque music. Unfortunately, many people assume music more or less began with Bach. This is utter nonsense; without his predecessors, there would have been no Bach! Is there anything you think might help audiences grow to appreciate it? Of course, one should immediately note that most people might not “understand” this music, but how many people truly “understand” the late Beethoven string quartets or Bach’s Art of the Fugue? These masterpieces are monumentally difficult, yet they are occasionally programmed – certainly far more than the music you most love.

ANAÏS CHEN: I’ve spoken with concert directors, who seem impressed by the work we do yet insist that because their audiences are too conservative, they simply cannot program anything so unusual. Thus, what my colleagues and I are trying to do is simply to make this music more popular by sharing it on the Internet. We are in the process of preparing more videos, in the hope that over time a broader audience will come to appreciate this repertoire. I didn’t know anything about this art before I began to study early music and period instruments. The first step is just to get the music “out there” and hopefully better known by people (especially concert organizers). If and when they begin to appreciate its beauty, they will be more willing to hear it in concert and program it! It’s a little better in Italy, because it’s part of their heritage, but even here it’s rare. It also helps to present it in the beautiful church of San Martino a Luco, near Poggibonsi, Tuscany.

LENNY CAVALLARO: That must be a wonderful place to perform, record, and listen. You have made a truly audacious leap into the early baroque, especially with such magnificent recordings as “Io son ferito.” Surely this music should be heard, so are there other reasons why we find resistance on the part of organizers to program such repertoire?

ANAÏS CHEN: Unfortunately, while some performers are truly committed to the early styles, we also find those who have become involved more out of convenience than genuine dedication to and love of the art. Sadly, because people are not so familiar with – and generally don’t even know – the repertoire, they do not always choose the best performances and recordings, and thus may be less than enthusiastic about what they hear.

LENNY CAVALLARO: That’s disappointing.

ANAÏS CHEN: However, it’s quite true for the entire period. We have some musicians who play only baroque repertoire, but clearly fall short of contemporary professional standards. We also have those who are actually well-educated but have been in too much of a hurry to declare themselves “baroque specialists,” and have ended up playing even worse on the period instrument than they would on contemporary ones. These performers don’t really comprehend how older instruments were supposed to be played and would surely have better results if they continued to use modern ones. As we can see, it’s not merely the instrument after all, but one’s overall approach to the music.

LENNY CAVALLARO: I’ve certainly heard some disappointing performances on period instruments, and I’m sure they’ve done little to encourage new audiences. However, I suspect a larger factor is your comment about how many concert organizers are simply reluctant to program works with which the audiences are almost totally unfamiliar. People know Bach’s Brandenburg Concerti, so it’s “safe” to have an orchestra and soloists perform them, even on period instruments. But something like the Palestrina/Rognoni may seem too risky. And in fairness, concert managers tend to be rather “conservative” in the classical sense: “resistant to change.” It’s the nature of the beast.

ANAÏS CHEN: However, there is so much to discover about earlier music, and it is important that we do so. For those who are skeptical, I should add that this early music greatly expands our understanding of the glorious late baroque music that followed it. From these works we can learn so much more about instrumental technique, sound production, ornamentation, general aesthetics, notation – and remember that many things were not notated, or else notated in a different manner than the one with which we are familiar.

Moreover, we are fortunate to have some instrumental and diminution treatises. These demonstrate how a lot of ornamentation was added to the actual, rather blank score. They also present articulation and phrasing in painstaking detail, imitating as much as possible good singers who are delivering a text expressively and with clear pronunciation. This information is important, and without it, performers simply cannot understand significant parts of the music. And even after all that, we are left with what I call “personal gaps,” which we can fill in only by practicing on period instruments (or modern copies of period instruments). With these we learn many things that are not in the treatises, and which must be discovered by actually playing. Indeed, I fell completely in love with baroque violin the first time I handled one. Even though it was a rather poor instrument, I was immediately able to gain insight as to why I had struggled so much even with the music of Mozart, to say nothing of compositions written earlier. On a modern instrument, I simply could not do what I wanted to do, yet on a baroque violin, everything felt natural.

Keeping all this in mind, I am trying to present programs that include not only the familiar – those famous and well-known composers – but also some of the less familiar. It is important to realize that the “giants,” as we perceive them, did not emerge out of nothing. Moreover, those masters who composed before Bach are by no means “inferior.” We can find exquisite art long before Bach and Handel.

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More Photographs of the last surviving tribes on Earth

YALI TRIBE

Location: Indonesia + Papua New Guinea
Photographed in 2010
They live in the virgin forests of the highlands. The Yali are officially recognised as pygmies, with men standing at just 150 cm tall. The Koteka, penis gourd (work by the men on each side of the image below), is a piece of traditional clothing used to distinguish indigenous identity.

KARO TRIBE

Location: Ethiopia
Photographed in 2011

The Omo Valley, situated in Africa’s Great Rift Valley, is home to an estimated 200,000 indigenous peoples who have lived there for millennia.

The tribes here have always traded between each other, for beads, food, cattle and cloth. More recently, the trade has been in guns and bullets. Inevitably, as roads are made through the area, other goods like beer and food find their way into the villages.

DASSANECH TRIBE

Location: Ethiopia
Photographed in 2011

The tribe is typical in that it is not strictly defined by ethnicity. Anyone can be admitted.

HUAORANI TRIBE

Location: Argentina + Ecuador
Photographed in 2011

For at least a thousand years, the Amazonian rainforest of Ecuador, the Oriente, has been home to the Huaorani (meaning ‘human beings’ or ‘the people’). They consider themselves to be the bravest indigenous group in the Amazon. Until 1956, they had never had any contact with the outside world.

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Coney Island rides from the 1930s and 1940s that would never fly today [via Nina Reznick]

No wonder there’s such nostalgia for Coney Island. Not pictured along with the parachute jump is Steeplechase Park.

The large building which contained a walk-through fun-house had a long track encircling the building where you rode merry-go-round style horses on a track which took you all
around the building. Other riders occupied adjacent tracks lending the
impression of a race.

The very same horses had been sold to a Florida amusement park where they’re ridden through a forest.

Photographs of the last surviving tribes on Earth [via Nina Reznick

ASARO TRIBE

Location: Indonesia + Papua New Guinea
Photographed in 2010

The legendary Asaro Mudmen first met with the Western world in the middle of the 20th century. For countless years, the Asaro would frequently apply their mud and masks and terrorise other villages with occasional early- morning visits.

“Individually the people are all very sweet, but as their culture is being threatened they’re forced to stand up for themselves.”
– Jimmy Nelson

CHINESE FISHING TRIBE

Location: Guangxi, China
Photographed in 2010

Cormorant fishing is a traditional fishing method using cormorants – a species of aquatic birds . To control the birds, the fishermen tie a snare near the base of the bird’s throat. This prevents the birds from swallowing larger fish, which are held in their throat, but the birds can swallow smaller fish.

MAASAI TRIBE

Location: Kenya + Tanzania
Photographed in 2010

To be a Maasai is to be born into one of the last great warrior cultures. From boyhood to adulthood, young Maasai begin to learn the responsibilities of being a man and a warrior. The role of a warrior is to protect the livestock from human and animal predators and to provide security to their families. Through rituals and ceremonies, Maasai boys are guided and mentored by their fathers and other elders on how to become a warrior. 

“Lions can run faster than us, but we can run farther”

NENETS TRIBE

Location: Siberia – Yamal
Photographed in 2011

The Nenets are reindeer herders, migrating across the Yamal peninsula, thriving for more then a millennium with temperatures from minus 50°C in winter to 35°C in summer. Their annual migration of over a 1000 km includes a 48 km crossing of the frozen waters of the Ob River.

“If you don’t drink warm blood and eat fresh meat, you are doomed to die on the tundra”

KOROWAI TRIBE

Location: Indonesia + Papua New Guinea
Photographed in 2010

The Korowai are one of the few Papuan tribes that do not wear the Koteka, a penis gourd. Instead, the men ‘hide’ their penises in their scrotums, to which a leaf is then tightly tied. They are hunter-gatherers, living in tree houses. They adhere to strict separatism between men and women.

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