~ Zsa Zsa Gabor...
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
~ Jeff Foxworthy...
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
~ Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
~ Emo Philips...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
~ Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.
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